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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26810857">Starved, Sanguine, Smitten</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneGaySlytherin/pseuds/ThatOneGaySlytherin'>ThatOneGaySlytherin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Love Victor (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Vampire, M/M, Vampire!Benji, grindr as a tool of destruction, idk what the fuck this prose style is its all over the place LMAO</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 12:02:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,632</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26810857</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneGaySlytherin/pseuds/ThatOneGaySlytherin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Benji has a particularly violent secret he's been keeping from Victor. As feeding time approaches, Benji prepares to try to both celebrate Halloween like a normal teenager and ensure he doesn't wither.</p><p>Meanwhile, Victor wonders if Benji's cheating on him. If only the reality were that simple.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Benjamin "Benji" Campbell/Victor Salazar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Venji Fic Fests: Halloween 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Starved, Sanguine, Smitten</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>AHHHH I'm so excited to be posting this!!! I would like to direct you to <a href="https://twitter.com/0negayslytherin/status/1311662408449093632?s=20">this tweet</a>, which is where this idea came from in the first place.</p><p>I would also like to direct you the the music video for <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqmxHwLI9yg">Take Me by Aly &amp; AJ</a>, which, aside from being an incredible song, inspired a lot of the vibes/imagery in this fic!!</p><p>Finally, I'd like to invite y'all to participate in our <a href="https://venjificfests.tumblr.com/post/630466703289204736/venji-fic-fests-halloween-2020-join-us-for-our">Venji Halloween 2020 Fic Fest</a>!!!! Details can be found at that link, it's open to all and extremely low pressure. Hope to see some of y'all participating and throwing in your spooky 2 cents!</p><p>And with that....enjoy....this mess &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Benji’s been acting strange.</p><p>For the several months since Victor started dating him, he’s always been aware of Benji’s little idiosyncrasies. But now that Victor’s junior year has started—which means senior year for Benji—things have become…odd.</p><p>Not enough to be alarming. But definitely enough to have Victor wondering what’s going on behind the scenes.</p><p>And because they tell each other everything, it just seems odd that Benji might be hiding something from Victor. Sometimes Benji falls into these <em>moods</em>, and he just sort of…goes away. Into his head, that is. And when Victor tries to talk to him, tries to brush a hand against his thigh or press a kiss against his cheek, Benji will actually <em>recoil</em>, like he’s disgusted. Sometimes, he would come into Brasstown with violet bags under his eyes, looking less like a teenage barista and more like a washed up boxer who’s just lost a back alley fight.</p><p>But it never lasts for long, and that’s the saving grace in Victor’s eyes. Because he’s certainly had alarming thoughts about what the truth might be. But knowing Victor’s family history (because, yes, of course he’s told Benji about the true reason why the Salazars picked up and moved shop), Benji would <em>never</em> cheat on him. No, Benji wouldn’t cheat on him regardless. He’s just not that kind of boy.</p><p>When he’s not ambling around like a shell of himself, he’s kind, and caring, and thoughtful, and he almost seems to know exactly what it is that Victor wants. What he needs. Part of Victor’s brain wonders if it’s too good to be true, if it might be an ongoing dream that he would rather not wake up from.</p><p>Still, now that the weather’s getting a bit colder and September has burrowed down into a pile of leaves stained as a sunset, Victor can’t help but notice that the moods are more frequent, and more intense. Sometimes Benji will seemingly vanish from the face of the planet for twenty-four whole hours; Victor won’t find him at school, won’t receive any calls or texts. He’ll return the next day looking refreshed, glowing, all unconvincing smiles and promises that everything’s fine, that it was just a weird early bout of the flu, that his immune system must just have a personal vendetta against him, but that now he’s never felt better.</p><p>The last time this happened was towards the beginning of October, but Victor can sense another shift in Benji’s affect just on the horizon. This time, he wants to do something about it.</p><p>He just doesn’t know what yet.</p>
<hr/><p>Victor’s starting to catch on.</p><p>He doesn’t know <em>what</em> he’s catching onto, but Benji can tell that he’s starting to question things. In the beginning, they hadn’t been quite close enough for Victor to realize when things were starting to deteriorate again. Back when they weren’t spending so much time together, when things were fresh and exciting and the butterflies hadn’t been shot down by the crimson archer, the unwelcome squatter in Benji’s veins.</p><p>But now that they’re practically inseparable, it’s become much more difficult to hide when feeding time rolls around.</p><p>And this October is even worse, because there are two full moons. <em>Two</em>. Even though Benji knows in the rational part of his mind that the distance between them isn’t anything special, that the phases of the moon will still come and go as they always have, there’s something deeply unsettling about seeing two full moons in the same calendar month.</p><p>Luckily, it doesn’t seem Victor has caught onto the full moon thing. He’s never been particularly scientifically minded, bless him. Besides, who would make the connection between vampires and the full moon? In fact, from what Benji’s heard on some of the dark web vampire forums he’s stumbled upon, the association between werewolves and the full moon was one that vampires began to throw people off their scent. As it turns out, this turned out to be symbiotic in some ways, because werewolves <em>do</em> exist of course, but they’re much more in control of their transformations than popular media would have you believe. And werewolves have taken to making their transformations during the full moon, because they know there will be vampires about, which means there will be a slew of people lying about, drained of blood and just waiting to be eaten.</p><p>Gruesome and macabre as it is, the two populations have fallen into a balance (in Atlanta at least); because werewolves are typically only feeding on people who would’ve become vampires, both populations are kept under control. Benji’s had a few close calls with wolves, but because they tend to be less brain and more brawn once they transform, he’s managed to emerge unscathed. Good thing, too; if he were bitten or scratched, it would mean certain death. It’s just not possible for one person to be both a vampire and a werewolf. It’s the equivalent of trying to walk North and South simultaneously. It would rip you apart from the inside.</p><p>As if being <em>just</em> a vampire isn’t tearing Benji limb from limb. His teenage years, the time of his life when he’s supposed to be embracing a new kind of freedom, have been ostensibly ruined by this curse.</p><p>And of course, it’s his own fault.</p><p>Well, maybe he’s being hard on himself when he assumes <em>all</em> of the blame. The circumstances were classic for both vampires and young gay men. Right before he’d started his relationship with Derek, Benji was interested in exploring his sexuality. He’d (illegally) downloaded a dating app, lied about his age, and within days had arranged a meeting with another guy in a motel just outside town. And, you guessed it, the bastard turned out to be a predatory vampire. Not to mention the fact that he was actually a gay man, but looked nothing like his picture and was probably a decade older.</p><p>Spare the moral lecture; Benji has <em>more</em> than learned his lesson. And besides, he has Victor now. They’ve only been together from the spring through the summer and into the ripe month of October, and maybe they’re young, and maybe high school relationships are statistically destined to fall apart…But Benji can see himself spending forever with Victor. He <em>does</em>.</p><p>Only, his idea of forever has shifted considerably in the last two years, in that it’s taken on a rather literal spin. Sometimes when he’s lying in bed, splotches of red flashing in his vision, he considers how easy it would be to make their forever an eternity.</p><p>But he loves Victor. He hasn’t said those words out loud yet because he’s beyond terrified of himself, of what happens if he <em>does</em> lose control. But he would never wish this upon anybody, especially not Victor, even if it means they could spend forever together.</p><p>And who knows? Maybe Benji isn’t Victor’s forever; maybe Victor isn’t already planning a wedding and thinking about what kind of house they’ll live in, if they’ll have kids, or dogs, or a fucking parakeet or something. Though there’s only one year between them, Benji recognizes that Victor still has a ways to go in terms of maturation. His temper has only mellowed out marginally, and his conception of relationships is clearly based on Lifetime movies (which he swears his mom and Pilar force him to watch, but Benji once asked Pilar about this and aside from hating them herself, she assured him that their mother wouldn’t go near one of those “garbage heaps”).</p><p>Which is why, when the moon is waxing and approaching saturation, Benji has to keep his distance. This is when Victor has noticed the strangest swings in mood, Benji thinks. But the day before a full moon, if they’re alone—hell, even if they aren’t—and Victor tries to kiss him, tries to even <em>touch</em> him, Benji worries a red rage will wash over him and he’ll emerge minutes later, glutted, drenched in the intoxicating blood of his true love.</p><p>He hasn’t found anything on the forums about that.</p>
<hr/><p>“What are you doing for Halloween?” Victor asks his boyfriend at lunch. It’s the Monday before the big holiday, and already the halls are buzzing with rumors of parties and plans.</p><p>Benji looks at him with a strange sort of panic in his eyes. “Um. Nothing. Why?”</p><p>“Wow, I’m not trying to <em>interrogate</em> you,” Victor says with a laugh. He reaches out across the table and looks around, self conscious—a habit he’s still trying to break now that their relationship is public—and takes Benji’s hands. “I just realized we never talked about your plans, and mine just freed up!”</p><p>Benji blinks at him, then seems to force himself to turn his hand over so Victor can slot through his slender fingers. “Have they?”</p><p>In fact, they have. Victor was supposed to take Adrian trick-or-treating, but Pilar must have decided late in the year that she was gunning for the “Sister of the Year” nomination and offered to do it so Victor could do something “less lame.”</p><p>(Her words. Victor was actually excited to spend some quality time with his brother, but he wasn’t going to turn down this opportunity).</p><p>Victor explains this much to Benji, who pushes around a piece of orange on his tray, poking at it like it might bite him.</p><p>“That’s great, Vic,” he says and finally looks up from his sad citrus slice. “Well…” he says, then licks his lips.</p><p>Victor retrieves his hand from Benji’s grip, sits back, and sighs. “You don’t have to tell me, I guess.”</p><p>“What?” Benji says, his eyes wide.</p><p>His shoulders touch his ears, then fall again. “Something’s off lately. I don’t know what it is, and I’m not gonna force you to tell me, because clearly you’re not ready yet. Just know that I’ve noticed, and I really care about you, so whenever you <em>are</em> ready, I’m here to listen.”</p><p>Benji pauses, then scoops up the orange slice and pops it into his mouth, frowning all the time.</p><p>Victor can’t help but giggle.</p><p>“Don’t laugh at me,” Benji pouts.</p><p>This only send Victor deeper in a laughing fit. “I’m sorry,” he says when he can finally breathe again. “It’s just. You look like an angry puppy when you try to act mad at me.”</p><p>To Victor’s relief, Benji breaks into a grin as he tears apart the fruit in his mouth. A tiny dribble of juice escapes from his lips.</p><p>“Um. You, uh…”</p><p>Benji looks at Victor, all faux innocence, eyebrows raised. “Hm?” he asks, then licks his lips but purposefully ignores the droplet.</p><p>“You suck,” Victor says.</p><p>Benji considers this for a moment; gears turn just below his hairline, under the smooth expanse of his forehead. “Yeah, I guess I do,” he says, then leans across the table and presses his lips against Victor’s.</p><p>“<em>Hmph</em>!” Victor pushes away, his lips sticky and stained tangy. He looks around. Nobody had noticed.</p><p>Benji sits back. “Everybody knows, Victor.”</p><p>“It’s one thing for them to know, it’s another to <em>make out</em> with me during lunch period,” he says, but a grin has germinated, threatening to bloom into a full on beaming smile.</p><p>“So you’re ashamed of me,” Benji says, then throws a chunk of orange peel in Victor’s general direction, missing horribly.</p><p>The peel flies over Victor’s shoulder. He rolls his eyes and turns to retrieve it from the floor. Once he sits up, peel in hand, he places it carefully on Benji’s tray.</p><p>“I could never be ashamed of you,” Victor says. He doesn’t know what’s come over him, but suddenly all the levity is gone from the conversation. It’s in his tone, the weight he forces behind these words.</p><p>Something flashes in Benji’s eyes and he averts his gaze, focusing his attention on another larger chunk of orange peel. He tears it apart piece by piece and Victor watches on, perplexed.</p><p>“Did I say something wrong just now?”</p><p>Benji huffs and throws down his citrine confetti. “No, Victor. You always know just what to say,” Benji says, both frustrated and without a trace of sarcasm.</p><p>“Then what’s the issue?”</p><p>They’re interrupted by Mia, Lake, and Felix. Mia plops down next to Benji, Felix on Victor’s right and Lake beside him. Their grins waver as they look back and forth between Victor and Benji.</p><p>“Hey, you two,” Mia says with an air of trying not to be too obvious that she’s noticed the tension. “We’ve been looking for you.”</p><p>“Found us,” Benji mutters.</p><p>Lake tilts her head. “Lover’s quarrel?”</p><p>“I don’t even know,” Victor says. He throws his hands up to indicate his innocence. “No, everything’s fine,” he adds, though by the looks on his friends’ faces, it’s not convincing.</p><p>Felix nudges him, gives Victor a face he’s come to understand as Felix’s am-I-socially-inept-or-is-something-going-on-here face. Victor just shakes his head.</p><p>“So, fun news,” Mia says, her tone still balanced on the edge of a knife. “I talked to my dad, and he’s all good if y’all come over for Halloween.”</p><p>Lake gasps and claps her hands together. “Mia, how long have you been sitting on that information?”</p><p>She shrugs. “I wanted everybody to be together. <em>AH</em>! Lake. Phone away.”</p><p>“I…” Lake pouts and puts her phone down. “How did you even know?”</p><p>Mia supplies Lake with her most potent amused-annoyance. “Because I’ve met you. It is <em>not</em> a party, okay? I would say you can all bring a plus-one, but…”</p><p>Lake wraps her arms through Felix’s, causing him to drop his spoon and splash juice from his fruit cup onto his shirt.</p><p>Across the table, Benji gives Victor a look he can’t quite interpret. Apology? Sadness? Why the hell is Benji acting so strange about Halloween?</p><p>“So…yeah. Wear costumes and stuff. It’ll be fun, I guess,” Mia says, put off by the lackluster response.</p><p>Victor turns to her and forces manners. “We’ll be there, Mia. Thanks for offering your house. I’m excited.” He returns his attention to Benji. “Can we talk for a second?”</p><p>Benji crosses his arms; Felix and Lake both deliberately look away, but Mia frowns up at Victor as he rises.</p><p>“Fine,” Benji says with a weary sigh. He pushes his tray away from him as he follows Victor away from the table.</p><p>Victor grabs his arm and yanks him out into the hallway. “What the <em>fuck</em> is going on right now?”</p><p>“Nothing is going on. I’m just being stupid. I’m sorry,” he says, clearly ashamed and sobered now that Victor has him alone.</p><p>“Hey, look at me,” Victor says. Benji meets his eyes and holds it. “If I did something wrong, I need you to tell me.”</p><p>“It’s not you,” Benji murmurs. “I promise. I’m just—I have a lot of shit going on right now, and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make Saturday.”</p><p>“What plans could you have on Halloween?”</p><p>Benji shakes his head. “It’s complicated, all right? I’ll…explain it all eventually,” he says.</p><p>Victor isn’t convinced.</p><p>“But you go, okay? Whether or not I’m able to make it. I don’t want to be the reason you had a shitty Halloween.”</p><p>“It’ll be shitty if you’re not there,” Victor says, pulling his right arm closer to himself. “Is there anything I can do to help?”</p><p>“<em>No</em>!” Benji shouts, then immediately bites down on his lips and grimaces. “Shit. Victor, I’m sorry—”</p><p>Victor steps away. “Maybe you should go home, Benji. Sleep off this mood, whatever it is. Because this isn’t you.”</p><p>“Victor—”</p><p>“I’ll talk to you later, okay?” he says. He’s trying so hard not to be mad, but Benji’s cryptic behavior has him reeling. If he’s done something wrong, Benji won’t tell him, and if <em>Benji’s</em> done something wrong, he’s just doubling down on his silence. So Victor’s going to wait until he comes out the other side of this strange phase and hope it’s the last one, and that Benji is getting help.</p><p>Victor turns and makes his way back into the cafeteria, where he can hear his friends laughing before he even reaches their table.</p>
<hr/><p>By Wednesday, Benji can already feel his grip loosening on his sanity. The full moon isn’t for another four nights, and already he’s teetering on a dangerous precipice over a grisly river, its rapids viscous and scarlet.</p><p>He actually had taken Victor’s advice and gone home following their fight in the hallway. With this freedom, he’d slept for multiple hours and woken up in the middle of the night. He had to laugh at himself; he’s becoming a walking stereotype, the vampire who sleeps during the day and acts only under the penumbra of nightfall.</p><p>This, of course, is another myth. In fact, the vast majority of vampire attacks occur while the sun is still up. Maybe another story started by vampires to throw people off the trail. Who knows? This one is so old it’s impossible to trace its beginning.</p><p>Regardless, he decides to skip school on Tuesday altogether and spends most of his time alternating between restless sleep and planning an apology for Victor in his head. He actually writes down one or two drafts, but everything feels so manufactured and hollow.</p><p>Fuck, this would be so much easier if he could just tell Victor the truth. But there’s no way Victor would believe him without seeing it for himself, and that’s out of the question.</p><p>So a genuine apology—vague and empty as it may feel—is his only solution for now.</p><p>He combs his favorite young vampire forum—<em>Fangs for the Memories</em>, what a stupid name—to see if anybody has advice on how to keep hiding one’s vampirism from a significant other, but almost <em>all</em> of the advice is along the lines of: fuck it, turn them too, vampire love is sexy!</p><p>But this is <em>so beyond</em> out of the question it might as well be a different rhetorical sentence structure altogether.</p><p>On Wednesday, Benji returns to school. He steals a concealer from his mother’s makeup drawer (she won’t miss it, her skin is so perfect she rarely even uses concealer) and cakes it under his eyes until he looks vaguely like a Normal Teenage Boy. He does his best to avoid Victor for as long as he can, but they’ve planned their schedules so they always have lunch together. It was a cute idea at the time, and under normal circumstances it would still be cute. But Benji needs some fucking <em>space</em>.</p><p>Which is why he flinches when Victor sits down across from him, his expression dangerously neutral. Well, that, and the fact that it’s pasta day and Victor has <em>three</em> slices of garlic bread stacked up on his tray.</p><p>(Again, the vampire/garlic thing is a myth. Benji just hates Creekwood garlic bread. It’s always soggy and way too heavy on the salt.)</p><p>“Hi,” Victor says cheerfully and tears off a hunk of bread in his teeth. “How are you feeling?”</p><p>Benji blinks. “Much better,” he lies. “Look, Victor, I’m sorry—”</p><p>Victor holds up a hand, struggles through the large chunk of garlic bread, then swallows. “I shouldn’t have pried. There has to be <em>some</em> privacy, right?”</p><p>“Wait, you’re serious?”</p><p>He shrugs and takes another bite of bread. Benji’s stomach turns. Wow, that shit sucks. How is Victor eating not one, but <em>three slices?</em></p><p>“As much as it would suck to miss our first Halloween together, I get that there are priorities. Mine include eating my body weight in chocolate and hiding behind Felix while Mia forces us to marathon horror movies.”</p><p>With a sigh, Benji sits forward. He wants nothing more than to be the person Victor hides behind when he gets scared. <em>Fuck</em>. The idea of missing Halloween is excruciating, like someone’s run him through with a stake of teen angst. “I’m sorry, Victor. I’ll try to be there, I really will.”</p><p>“I believe you,” he says with a satisfied nod and moves onto piece number two.</p><p>If all goes accordingly, Benji can feed early in the afternoon, rest for a couple of hours and shift out of his frenzy, and then meet Victor at Mia’s house. Typically, he likes to give himself a whole night’s sleep to digest and come down, but he thinks he can probably push it just this once.</p><p>“By the way, Felix is taking me…uh…what did he call it…” Victor sighs and wipes his hand on his pants, then pulls out his phone. “Rando-nauting? Felix is taking me rando-nauting later.”</p><p>Benji frowns. He’s heard of this on TikTok. “Isn’t that the weird trend where you go to a place that has super cursed energy or something?”</p><p>Victor shrugs.</p><p>“I think people have found dead bodies and stuff.”</p><p>Victor almost chokes on another large bite of bread. Benji sits forward in alarm, but Victor just waves him off and coughs until he can breathe again. “Dead bodies?” he repeats.</p><p>“Maybe it’s fake, I don’t know,” Benji says.</p><p>Victor thumps himself on the chest, eyes wide and head cocked to the side. “I’m not so sure about this anymore.”</p><p>Benji laughs nervously. “I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he says, wondering if the rumors of vampires breaking cycle and feeding early to get it out of the way have any merit. “What could possibly go wrong?”</p><p>“Right,” Victor says, still looking apprehensive. “How about this? We’ll just share our locations. That way, if my body disappears in the woods, you’ll be able to track my phone.”</p><p>“That’s…both morbid and a really good idea,” Benji says. He whips out his phone and immediately starts sharing his location with Victor, who does the same. “Wait…” Benji says. “Why do you need to know <em>my</em> location? Shouldn’t you just share yours?”</p><p>Victor pauses, his eyes still on his phone. “Uh, well, I guess you don't have to share it, if you don't want to.”</p><p>Benji narrows his eyes, then puts his phone away, leaving the setting as is. “I mean, it’s whatever. What are you gonna do? Stalk me?”</p><p>Victor chuckles nervously and shoots finger guns at Benji, then averts his eyes and shoves his phone back into his pocket. He starts on his final piece of garlic bread without another word. And <em>Benji</em> is the one who’s acting weird?</p><p>The rest of lunch passes with relative normalcy. With his time off, Benji’s been able to rein in his PMS (pre-metamorphosis syndrome) and shake off some of his more primal urges, which leaves him in a much better mood. If Victor notices, he doesn’t say anything about it. In fact, by the time the bell rings, Benji’s almost forgotten about the full moon altogether.</p><p>Later, Benji passes Felix at his locker before eighth period.</p><p>“Hey, Felix,” he says as he approaches.</p><p>Felix looks up too fast from his locket and slams his head into the door. “Ow, <em>shit</em>! Hi, Benji.”</p><p>“I heard you and Victor are going rando-nauting later. Sounds like fun.”</p><p>Still rubbing his skull where it collided with the locker, Felix frowns. “What did you just say?”</p><p>“How hard did you hit your head?”</p><p>“No, it’s just—Victor has refused on multiple occasions to go rando-nauting with me,” Felix says. “And I didn’t even have plans to go again until this weekend. Is he going without me?”</p><p>Benji knits his brows together, his eyes flitting back and forth. “Maybe I misheard him?”</p><p>“If he’s going rando-nauting without me, I <em>swear</em>—” Felix grumbles as he storms away, leaving Benji in front of his locker (which Felix hadn’t closed).</p><p>Benji shakes his head and closes the locker. This has been the weirdest fucking week of his life.</p><p>And he got catfished <em>and</em> turned into a vampire during his first ever gay hookup, so that’s saying something.</p>
<hr/><p>Victor doesn’t necessarily feel <em>good</em> about what he’s been doing. But it’s definitely assuaged some of his qualms about the possibility of Benji cheating.</p><p>No, he hadn’t really been going rando-nauting with Felix. He considered proposing a real excursion to his best friend as an alibi, but he wasn’t sure if he would survive. So he pretended not to know what it was, overreacted when Benji brought up the thing about people finding dead bodies (which is not just a rumor as far as he knows, and just another reason why he will never go anywhere near one of those energy spots or whatever the hell they are), and managed to lure Benji into sharing his location.</p><p>Which Victor checks…fairly frequently. Not enough to be an obsession. Not yet. And so far, in the two days since the location as been secured, Victor has noticed not <em>one</em> thing out of the ordinary. Benji is always either at Creekwood, at home, or at Brasstown. Or he’s with Victor (often at one of the aforementioned locations) and the whole fucking thing is moot anyway.</p><p>In some ways, it’s even more frustrating. Even though it would’ve wrenched his heart out of his chest, it would’ve at least been a sensible explanation for the strange behavior.</p><p>But now…Victor is perplexed. Halloween is tomorrow and he’s not even sure if Benji’s going to show up at Mia’s. He wanted to plan a couple’s costume, but decided it wasn’t worth the effort; at this point, his hopes aren’t high, especially since Benji’s mood has dipped again, back to the place where he’s more a shambling husk of himself than the boy Victor has come to care about so much.</p><p>So Victor makes the decision. Once Halloween passes, he’s going to confront Benji about these discrepancies and not stand down until Benji tells him the truth. It’s affecting their relationship too much at this point. As much as Victor wants to give Benji his space, that can’t be at the sake of what they have together.</p><p>Victor sighs and closes his phone. Benji’s safe and sound in his own home.</p>
<hr/><p>This is the worst Halloween of Benji’s life, bar none.</p><p>He’d woken up at four in the afternoon, groggy and already feeling the full moon in his bloodstream. He’d set an alarm, so what the fuck happened? When he rolled over and yanked the phone out of its charger, he almost gouged his own eyes out. The alarm had been set for eight <em>PM</em>. Perfect.</p><p>Several hours behind on his plan, Benji is now scouting for this moon’s victim as the sun starts to descend. All the while, he’s well aware that going to Mia’s post-feeding is almost certainly out of the question. He’s worried he’ll still be too tempted to feed, even though he’ll be more than satiated at that point.</p><p>And because he’s missed an entire day’s worth of hunting, he has to resort to a trick that makes his stomach turn, almost as much as the memory of when the same trick had been used against him.</p><p>Benji, shaking, alone with another man for the first time in a grimy motel. Benji on the bed, Benji pinned down, Benji’s head splayed backward in pleasure, in just the sweetest amount of pain, Benji’s neck, tender and exposed, Benji’s shocked cry at the pressure against the membrane of his nape, the head rush, the torrent of heat, two sharp instruments suddenly on the wrong side of Benji’s epidermis.</p><p>The redout that follows is both savior and scourge, the half-hour period when everything is iron and hematic rapture, when the line between human and something lesser, something greater, becomes the only plane of existence available. Both predator and prey sink into this fugue state in tandem. Consumer emerges gorged, finally able to retract the fangs (metaphorically speaking) and slip back into society like nothing’s happened. If they’re lucky, the victim will wake with the highest fever they’ll ever have, an acute pain in their gums, and the sensation that something’s been taken from them which can never be recovered.</p><p>And that something’s been given to them which can’t be returned.</p><p>Benji’s finger shakes as he presses the download button, opens his browser and finds a convincing torso picture, and decides on a plan of attack.</p><p>Then Benji opens Grindr. And he waits.</p>
<hr/><p>Victor’s head itches.</p><p>Last minute, he’d managed to throw together a half-decent werewolf costume. The biggest selling point is the makeup and the wig, which are both courtesy of Pilar.</p><p>(He hadn’t bothered to ask why she had all of the necessary materials to build said werewolf costume. She applied the makeup with so much force and Victor realized it must be a sensitive subject. So he just let her paint him a new face and adjust the hair until it looked wild, but in a mildly sexy way.</p><p>Not that it matters if he looks sexy. Benji’s been MIA all day anyway. He’d expected it, but it still hurts.)</p><p>Mia and Lake have decorated the Brooks’ living room with spider webs and pumpkins and posters from classic horror movies, and there are plastic witch cauldrons on the table in front of them filled with candy and popcorn.</p><p>And, because Mia is sadistic and also has nerves of steel, not only is <em>Hereditary</em> showing on the television, but a haunted house soundtrack is playing somewhere in the background. Lake and Felix have both complained and said that the scariness of the two things cancels out when experienced concurrently. Victor cannot disagree any harder, but he’s keeping his mouth shut and hoping that consuming another fun-sized chocolate bar will keep his terror at bay.</p><p>On screen, one of the characters is flailing in the back of a car, suffering from an allergic reaction to nuts. Victor looks down at the unwrapped Snickers between his fingers and returns it to the bowl. Maybe he’ll have some Skittles instead.</p><p>All four of them shriek when a deer appears in the road, which causes the driver to swerve, and <em>THWAP</em>! Victor averts his eyes but it’s too late; the damage is done, and he’s seen the head of a little girl detach from her body via contact with telephone pole.</p><p>Nausea rolls through him. The laughter bubbling up from Mia’s core isn’t helping at all. <em>A little girl just lost her head and you’re</em> laughing?</p><p>Victor stands, not particularly concerned about whether or not he misses any important plot points, and excuses himself to the bathroom. In the mirror, he frowns, then bares his teeth. He’s got two shitty prosthetic fangs affixed to his canines. Honestly, he looks more like the cowardly lion than a werewolf. He wishes Benji were here to gas him up and tell him he’s “hot as howl” or some stupid pun that would make Victor roll his eyes.</p><p>Almost out of habit, Victor pulls his phone out of his pocket and looks for Benji’s location.</p><p>He lowers the toilet seat and sits down hard when he sees that Benji isn’t at home. He’s…nearby, actually. Victor isn’t great with geology (geography? Which is the one with maps and shit?), but it looks like Benji is in the middle of the woods.</p><p>Something like jealousy cries out inside Victor, but he doesn’t know what he’s jealous of. Mostly, he’s confused as hell.</p><p>Victor emerges from the bathroom, smashing the “refresh” button to make sure his phone isn’t glitching. No, Benji is definitely chilling in the woods.</p><p>“Is everything okay?” Mia says. The movie is paused. “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you about the gory stuff, I just didn’t want to spoil it.”</p><p>“I think I’m just gonna…take a little walk,” Victor says. “This wig is so hot and I could use some fresh air.”</p><p>Felix jumps up. “Great! Should we go trick-or-treating?”</p><p>“No, Felix, you stay here,” Victor says, distracted as Benji’s dot starts to move. “I won’t be gone long.”</p><p>Lake scoffs. “Felix, when was the last time you went trick-or-treating anyway?”</p><p>“Is ‘last year’ a lame answer?”</p><p>“I regret asking.”</p><p>“Go ahead and watch the movie without me,” Victor says as he starts for the door.</p><p>“Are you sure?” Mia calls after him, disappointed. She’s told him how excited she was for her friends to experience this movie for the first time, and now Victor’s bailing.</p><p>“I’m sure!” he calls back and slips out into the night.</p><p>The moon is situated exactly in the middle of the road, like if Victor followed the pavement he would end up with his feet planted right on the orb’s surface. There are still a few stray kids about, but curfews for trick-or-treating have gotten really strict in the past few years, so the streets are mostly empty. Music thumps from a few of the houses and Victor hears a scream in the distance, but none of it concerns him.</p><p>He’s mostly scared of finding Benji, of confronting whatever it is that’s been plaguing his boyfriend. Because this must be it, right?</p><p>Treeline. A cold wind whips through. Victor shivers. Though the moon is full, he knows light will be low once he enters the woods. He doesn’t trust his phone to stay alive if he uses the flashlight, and it’s crucial that he uses it to track Benji.</p><p>So he takes a deep breath, looks around to make sure nobody is watching, and steps beyond the outermost trunks.</p><p>The silence is the worst part. Silence isn’t quite the right word, but the soundscape is barren, just leaves crunching beneath his feet and the occasional animal cry off in the distance. Though Victor wants to keep his attention on Benji’s dot, on the sight of his own nearing it, he can’t stop himself from looking up at every little noise.</p><p>Somebody is watching him. That’s the feeling he gets, anyway.</p><p>Benji. He just needs to get to Benji, and then he won’t be alone, and he can stop working himself into this panic. But he starts to wonder what he’s going to find when the dots overlap. What if Benji’s been kidnapped? Or killed? What if Victor finds just Benji’s phone, abandoned on the forest floor, and he becomes the next victim of whoever attacked him? Could it be Derek? He knows they’ve had issues post-breakup, but would Derek do something so sinister, so irreversible? Has Benji been dealing with a stalker?</p><p>Victor tries to justify and contextualize everything he knows as he continues his prowl through the woods. Every so often, a sliver of moonbeam will slice through, but though the trees have shed most of their foliage, the woods are so dense that the barren branches weave together and forbid light from passing through.</p><p>His breath is shallow in his own ears.</p><p><em>Snap</em>.</p><p>Something large off to his right. Victor whips toward the sound, cursing himself for having his eyes trained on the phone screen; his eyes aren’t adjusted to the dark, so he’s unable to locate the source of the sound. He freezes. Naked branches knock together in a cruel imitation of laughter.</p><p>Once he’s sure it was just his imagination (more like once he’s sufficiently lied to himself) Victor pushes on. He’s close now, two hundred, maybe three hundred feet away.</p><p><em>Snap, snap, snap</em>.</p><p>Victor sucks in a breath and locks his phone, cursing himself for not turning it on silent. The click of his screen shutting off seems to echo through the woods, pinging off thick trunks. His lungs are going to burst from the effort of holding such a shallow breath.</p><p>There’s someone off in the trees. Benji? No, they’re much too large to be Benji, whoever they are.</p><p>Victor clamps a hand over his mouth when the figure turns toward him. They must be in a costume—a really good one, at that—because the shape is far from human. Hulking shoulders, thick legs. The silhouette is hard to make out in the gloom, but upon seeing Victor, they turn heel and run in the opposite direction.</p><p>He stands, frozen, for at least a minute, maybe more. His breath comes in shallow pants as he forces himself to continue; he doesn’t bother unlocking his phone, knows that he’ll encounter Benji’s in just another minute or so, whether Benji is with it or not.</p><p>Finally, he reaches a sort of clearing. The trees here thin out and allow the moon to shine through, revealing two figures down in the brush. Victor nearly breaks into a run when he sees that one of them is unmistakably his boyfriend.</p><p>Then, Benji rises, and Victor almost gags.</p><p>Fake blood—it <em>must</em> be fake blood—coats Benji from his hair to his waist, shining, reflecting the Blue Moon in all directions. Around Benji’s mouth is dark, wet. He turns away from the figure on the ground and faces the luminescent planetoid, his head thrown back, mouth spread wide in rapture.</p><p>Victor’s fear doesn’t disappear, but it does make way for blind rage.</p><p>“<em>Benji</em>? What the <em>fuck</em> are you doing?”</p><p>Benji’s attention snaps away from the moon, all euphoria draining immediately. For a moment he looks frenzied, inhuman, and then he breaks character and his Benji-ness returns.</p><p>Victor approaches, tears already forming in his eyes. “I thought I was crazy, but you <em>are</em> cheating on me,” he spits. Benji looks panicked, slaps a trembling finger to his lips and tries to get Victor to stop talking. “No, Benji, I don’t give a fuck if I’m ruining your weird vampire roleplay.” His tears capture drops of moonshine as the cascade to the rotting forest floor. “Tell whoever your <em>friend</em> is that this is over,” he says, finally within arm’s reach of Benji.</p><p>Benji, who…</p><p>Victor stumbles backward. Benji’s eyes are rimmed black, his irises red. Not glowing red, but plasmatic, as if somebody has taken a syringe and injected them directly with blood. And his <em>teeth</em>. Victor still has his fake fangs in, but they look nothing like these gruesome teeth jutting from Benji’s gums.</p><p>“<em>What the fuck</em>?” he chokes as he falls onto his ass, a pain shooting up his right arm. The unmistakable scent of blood perverts the air, metallic, somehow warm and sticky even in odor. Victor retches and scrambles backward as Benji comes closer, and the blood is <em>real</em>, it’s fucking <em>real</em>.</p><p>Victor risks a glance in the direction of the other body, still prone in the leaves.</p><p>“Victor, you can’t be here,” Benji hisses, but all Victor can see is coagulation on his lips, a single scarlet droplet highlighted by the moon as it drips from Benji’s hair.</p><p>Off in the woods, a howl. That’s the only way Victor can frame the sound, because it’s not quite a howl. It sends a chill rocketing down Victor’s spine; there’s something distinctly human about it, something uncanny and <em>wrong</em>.</p><p>“Let’s go,” Benji says and offers Victor a hand.</p><p>He continues to inch backward as Benji pushes toward him, bloodstained hand outstretched.</p><p>Another howl, much closer.</p><p>“<em>Now, Victor, god fucking dammit,</em>” Benji says, his voice now raised above a frantic whisper.</p><p>Victor thinks back to the shape in the woods, which he’d previously attributed to his imagination getting the best of him. He doesn’t even have time to wonder if he’s dreaming. Benji wrenches Victor off the ground. Benji’s strong, but not strong enough to yank Victor several feet in the air with one arm. And yet.</p><p>There’s not a moment to consider this as Benji practically drags Victor back the way he came, speeding through dense underbrush and weaving between trunks. The howl sounds from directly behind them, in the clearing.</p><p>“Benji—”</p><p>“It’s not after us, just keep running,” he pants.</p><p>After another panicked moment, Benji stops suddenly. Victor almost slams into him, but Benji holds out an arm and kills any leftover momentum.</p><p>Benji cocks his head and closes his eyes. Victor goes to speak but before he can get a word out, Benji raises a finger to Victor’s lips. He flinches and moves away as Benji smears blood across his mouth.</p><p>Finally, Benji opens his eyes and releases the tension in his body. Victor wrenches his arm out of Benji’s grip and takes a step away; he trips over a root and flails as he tries to regain his footing, but just ends up stumbling backward until his back hits a tree. On impact, he turns to the side and vomits.</p><p>When he straightens again, Benji is directly next to him. “Are you okay?”</p><p>“Get the fuck away from me,” Victor says, clutching himself and pointing at Benji. “What—I—just get away.”</p><p>“I can explain.”</p><p>“Is this some kind of elaborate prank?” Victor says. He’s crying. He doesn’t remember when he started crying. “Because it’s not fucking funny <em>at all</em>, Benji”</p><p>“Victor. Look at me,” Benji says and steps in.</p><p>The stench of gore fills Victor’s nostrils, sweet and rotten. He manages to look into Benji’s eyes, which seem to be returning to their usual stunning hazel.</p><p>“I wanted to tell you,” Benji breathes. Victor wants to look away, to focus his eyes on something that <em>isn’t</em> Benji’s red-stained skin, but he can’t seem to look away. “How the fuck was I supposed to do that though?”</p><p>“This isn’t real,” Victor says and shakes his head, pressing back against the tree. “I’m having a nightmare.”</p><p>“Think about it,” Benji insists. “You told me yourself. You’ve noticed that I go through strange moods. Victor, I have fangs, for fuck’s sake.” Benji bares his teeth and widens his eyes—if he weren’t two seconds from shitting himself, Victor might find this sight oddly endearing.</p><p>Victor’s noticed Benji’s canines before. Of course he has. He studies Benji’s mouth like he’s writing a fucking dissertation. “I know, Benji, your teeth are sharp,” he says, turning his face away. “I’ve seen them before.”</p><p>“No, Victor. <em>Really</em> look.” Benji reaches out and tenderly turns Victor’s face back toward him. Sure enough, Benji’s canines are both nearly an inch long, ending in grisly points. What he’d seen in the clearing hadn’t been a trick of the light, or of Victor’s overactive mind.</p><p>“I don’t understand.”</p><p>“Humans are stupid,” Benji says with a shrug. He removes his hand from Victor’s face. “As long as they don’t look too hard, they don’t realize what they’re seeing.”</p><p>“I’m looking as hard as I can and I still don’t fucking understand.”</p><p>Benji sighs. “Please don’t make me <em>Twilight</em> this situation. Do I have to say the words?”</p><p>Victor swallows, his pulse finally back down in the triple digits. “No, I’d really prefer if you didn’t.”</p><p>“Good. It always feels stupid to say it out loud.”</p><p>Victor blinks a few times, squeezes his thigh between his fingers until he cries out.</p><p>“Stop. You’re not dreaming,” Benji says. There’s a clarity to his voice, like Benji has snapped back into focus.</p><p>“Are you gonna bite me?” Victor asks.</p><p>Benji hangs his head and chuckles. “No, Vic.”</p><p>Victor frowns. Is he feeling…disappointment? “Is it because you don’t love me?” he asks, voice quiet. He never thought that this crucial crossroads in their relationship would take place in the middle of the woods, and especially not after witnessing…whatever the fuck that was.</p><p>Benji takes a step forward. “No. It’s because I love you <em>too much</em>.”</p><p>“You do?”</p><p>He nods and licks his lips, though they remain stained scarlet, plump and full. “I do. And I wouldn’t want you to go through what I’ve gone through.”</p><p>“This is real?” Victor asks, one more time, and even when Benji says, “Yes,” he’s not fully sold. “What the hell was that back there?”</p><p>With a chuckle, Benji looks Victor up and down. “Take a guess.”</p><p>“You’re shitting me.”</p><p>“I’m not.”</p><p>“This is all fake.”</p><p>“It’s not,” Benji says and wiggles his head, both weary and amused. “But honestly, it might be better for your mental health to wake up tomorrow and forget you saw any of this.”</p><p>“How can I help?”</p><p>Benji blinks. “Help?”</p><p>“How can we make you better?”</p><p>“Victor. There’s no <em>cure</em>. There is no <em>better</em>. This is just what I am now. Really, it’s not so bad. The secrecy is the worst part.”</p><p>Victor nods, his chest tight. “Then...I’m sorry.”</p><p>“For what?” Benji says, voice panicked as he takes a step back.</p><p>“Just—that this is your life now!” Victor says, appalled. “Did you think I was about to <em>kill</em> you?”</p><p>Benji’s face relaxes. “The stories I’ve read, Victor. People do horrible things when they’re confronted with an impossible truth. If you want to break up—”</p><p>“Whoah, who said anything about breaking up?”</p><p>In Benji’s presence, the woods suddenly seem lighter, like maybe the trees know his presence and part before the moon to let a stream of light flow through. “You seriously want to be with me still?” The surprise in his voice hammers at Victor’s heart, almost finds a fault line that would shatter it altogether.</p><p>Victor lifts both of his hands, a full body shrug. “This isn’t your <em>fault</em>. I mean…that guy back there…did you kill him?”</p><p>“Not technically,” Benji says with a grimace, “but I may as well have.”</p><p>“Okay,” Victor says, shivering as another breeze swirls dead leaves around the forest floor. “Maybe we can talk about moral consequences later. For now, I’d really like to be anywhere but these woods.”</p><p>Benji nods. He hesitates for a moment, then reaches out a cautious hand. Victor looks down at it.</p><p>“I don’t have claws. I promise.”</p><p>Despite himself, Victor <em>laughs</em>, then reaches out and takes Benji’s hand in his, the blood on his palm already cold. Victor winces at the cool squish against his skin, then relaxes into the touch.</p><p>“I love you, too, Benji,” he whispers. They exit the forest together, their arms intertwined, one boy a painted wolf and the other bathed in blood, and Victor wonders if some things are worth having forever, no matter what the price may be.</p>
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